


Karen's Secret Santa

by Frostylicious



Category: South Park
Genre: Christmas, Family Fluff, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-07 21:12:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12849624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frostylicious/pseuds/Frostylicious
Summary: Karen has herself a Secret Santa! And Mysterion has nothing to do with it? A little South Park Christmas for you. Oneshot.





	Karen's Secret Santa

**Author's Note:**

> There was to be more of this, beyond where this is ended at, but I actually preferred this better? Despite it being a tad rushed... I had thought about this idea for the longest time, and really didn't get around to it until a couple years later. I really fancy Kenny being with Emily (one of the very minor characters from Bass to Mouth), but on the other hand, I also had the need to make this Kenny & Karen family centric, so I went with my heart instead. :) I wanted Kenny and Emily to interact more, and eventually end the tale with a cheesy Hallmark Channel kiss, but... that may end up in the sequel for another couple that is briefly mentioned. ((HINT HINT))
> 
> I have this silly headcanon where Emily ended up giving Karen some pajamas, because shown in The Poor Kid, they're both wearing similar PJs and Emily (despite being a generic background character) may live somewhere on their street nearby, sooooo... this came into play.
> 
> I missed an entire episode of The Walking Dead for this? Shame, shame. Negan is bound to bonk every single one of you on the head, lol.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I do not own South Park, the show is rightfully owned by Trey&Matt! Certain creepy characters belong to Clive Barker.

T'was your average Sunday afternoon for the citizens of South Park, and most of the townspeople were well on their way to J-mart for their week full of groceries or mid-holiday shopping. Emily Anderson and her best friend Tammy Nelson were browsing the landscaping aisle, deciding on the perfect gift to get for Emily's mother, who had taken up more than a few hobbies since her recent visits to rehab. Gardening was a new favorite, and Emily thought her mother needed a new friend in a frog or gnome. However, their constant giggling came to a stop when a yell caught their attention, turning to a familiar redhead in an "I'm With Stupid" t-shirt, pulling her tiny daughter away from a nearby clearance rack.

On the holder were whole sets of blue pajamas; small, green and pink hearts scattered amongst them. And what better yet, they were only five bucks a piece! What a bargain, right?

"I know these're cheap, Karen," Carol told her youngest child, "but I'm afraid that we just can't afford them now. We're here for some Pop-Tarts, and that's what we're gonna get!"

Bottom lip trembling, poor Karen stared at the PJs longingly. Almost every girl in her class wore them to sleepovers, why couldn't she?

She overheard her mother heave a tired sigh.

"Honey, I'm sorry," she apologized, tugging her daughter along. "Maybe next Christmas… to make it up to ya, I'll let'cha pick the flavor of which Pop-Tarts that you want, okay?"

Emily watched them leave, crestfallen over the scene.

_There must be something I can do,_ she thought. Glancing down, she gazed upon the crumpled wad of money in her hand. Unfortunately, she only had the right amount for just a single present.

"Emily, come look at these!"

The girl rushed to her friend's side at once.

"What's up?" she asked.

Tammy pointed eagerly. There was a collection of tiny toads and turtles, wearing big puppy-dog eyes, sitting upon luscious forest mushrooms while having tea. Emily gasped. Oh, how perfect! And with prices like these were even better! To think she could purchase both this and the PJs. As if this really was a Christmas miracle…

~**

Dark clouds rolled into down late that evening, and sure enough, brought flurries with them. The community remained quiet and peaceful—just the way Mysterion preferred it. With Christmas on its way, which could only mean that plenty of robberies were, too. Not that Kenny minded keeping the city secure, especially when folks attended their responsibilities with shopping, he loved the thrill—every minute of it—however, this was the time of the year to spend with family. Tracking down a thug or two was certainly no exception when it came to playtime with Karen. And that's why she had to receive the best present that he could possibly think of.

"Well, I'm stumped."

He jumped from roof top to roof top, swiveled down a frozen drainpipe, and crossed the slippery railroad to his beat down bungalow which he unfortunately the displeasure of calling home. He could not contain his excitement in finding out that his deadbeat dad possibly had the last waffle for a late night snack, which rightfully earned his sorry excuse for an ass to be whooped by his mother. When Carol unleashed her wrath, she opened the gates of Hell. Even the Cenobites would shit themselves.

"Wonderful," he groaned. "Perhaps I shouldn't use the front…" A figure emerged right on his porch. "… Door?"

Quickly, Mysterion made a detour and threw himself into a clump of dying bushes that rested at the edge of the house. The intruder jumped. It peered over its shoulder, praying it wasn't seen by anyone. Mysterion withdrew his face from the deceased plant and watched with particular interest. He squinted, and, as his noticeably seen question mark sprung back and forth, stepped backward in realization.

"Emily Anderson?" he questioned in surprise, quirking a brow. "What's she doing here?"

He was about to emerge from the shadows when suddenly—crack!—he noticed the snapped twig beneath his feet.

"Aw, shit!" he cursed.

His eyes grew wide as a gasp hit both ears. The pitter-pattering of feet scurried off into the night.

"Wait," cried Mysterion, bursting from the bush, frantic. "Wait, please!"

Although it was much too late, she was gone. The lone hero stood just outside his house, alone in the cold. Cape blustering against the wind, Mysterion's gaze fell upon a small green box, decorated with sparkling red ribbons that had gnarled themselves into a bow on top.

_To: Karen_

_From: Your Secret Santa :)_

~**

Monday morning was certainly bursting with happiness in the McCormick household, much to the irony. As Kenny and Kevin shared a frosted blueberry Pop-Tart together, Karen was joyfully skipping up and down the hall, wearing her new pajamas!

"Mommy, Mommy!" she called, hurrying into the kitchen. "May I wear my PJs to school?"

Carol at the moment was finishing her load of cracked dishes in the sink.

"Nuh-uh," she grunted impatiently. "Absolutely not! Those're brand new! You don't wanna dirty'em, do ya?"

Her daughter's grin faded. "Oh… well, I guess not."

"Good," stated her mother. "Now, go get dressed and grab yourself some breakfast. Kenny's gonna leave without'cha!"

The boy in the orange parka patted his baby sister's head sympathetically.

"She's kidding, Karen," he mumbled, sending their mother a sideways glare. "She's only kidding…"

~**

"So what are you getting Shelly, Stan?"

"I really haven't thought about it. Probably a bag of coal. Maybe, if she's really good, I'll add in some of Cartman's fresh, runny diarrhea as a Christmas bonus."

"DUDE! That's disgusting!"

"I know, dude, but that's the whole point."

The super best friends approached Kenny's locker, surprised to find Karen there instead.

"Hey Karen," said Stan.

"Hi!" Kyle greeted with a friendly wave, oblivious to the fact that the kind gesture had sent Kenny's sister over the moon.

"Hi," Karen responded in a rush. "Is Kenny coming?"

The older boys nodded in sync.

"Yeah, we're here to meet him for lunch," Stan explained. "What's up?"

"I-I wanted to show him a picture that I drew for my secret Santa," replied Karen.

"Secret Santa?" asked Kyle.

The girl pulled the drawing out from her backpack to show the boys. Around the corner, in another hall, her actual Santa watched in secret with an enormous smile.

"I was hoping," Karen continued, "that if my guardian angel appears tonight, he could possibly take it to them if it's not too much trouble for him…"

"What kind of trouble, kiddo?"

Kenny walked up from behind his sister, having her spin around with a wide smile.

"Sorry I'm late, guys," he apologized, getting a playful tackle-hug from Karen in the process. "Ooomph! I was gathering information." He gently ruffled her pigtails. "You know the deal."

Stan nodded in understanding, knowing that a hero's job was truly never done.

"No problem," said Kyle casually, eyes darting to the young girl. "If it's okay with your brother, would you like to have lunch with us, Karen?"

Karen gasped. Her eyes became a pair of bright stars. She glanced to her older brother. Little did she know that he, too, was beaming under the hood. Immediately she squealed, grabbed Kyle's hand, and led him down the hall and towards the cafeteria to get the best seats while leaving Stan and Kenny to trail behind.

"You do realize that twenty years from now, she's going to marry him, right?"

"Shut-up, Stan."

~**

Later that night, while everyone had gone to bed, Kenny crept out his room fully costumed as Mysterion. Karen had hoped and wished so big with her little heart that her dream would soon come true. Inside the bedroom, Karen was on her mattress, resting on her knees and in prayer for one last wish, and that specific wish only. Her imaginary window, despite there wasn't any light in the room, shined as brilliantly as her heart.

"Karen?" murmured Mysterion.

He landed on the ground with a thud, thanks to his charge's mixture of strength and excitement rolled into one. Chuckling softly, Kenny playfully tugged at a loose pigtail to distract himself from the sudden throbbing pain that his stomach carried.

"Good to see you too, kiddo," he mumbled.

_Though, I could really go for a warning next time…_

"Guardian Angel," Karen spoke so softly, afraid to wake the rest of her family. "Could you do me a favor? Please?"

He looked her straight in the eye and nodded. "Anything."

Like a sneaky mouse, Karen quietly scurried to the wall where her bag lay, snatched up her drawing and returned it to her angel. Mysterion politely thanked her before studying the picture with kind eyes. Unfortunately, he hadn't had the time to gaze at it until now. The drawing was terribly simple, but absolutely perfect in every way possible. The portrait revolved around Karen (in her pajamas) showering a pile of gifts to the ever jolly St. Nick himself! Snow was everywhere, along with many Christmas trees in the background, and even a lamppost that could be from the grand country of Narnia. And who did Mysterion eventually find hiding behind said lamppost?

"Hey, it's me!" he exclaimed in a happy tone, although he kept it to a minimum.

Karen beamed. "Yeah! I thought I'd add you in there, too, 'cause you're always helping me in one way or another."

"This is wonderful, Karen!" he praised. "I'll give this to her right away."

"My Secret Santa's a girl?" asked Karen curiously.

_Whoops! Well, there's no turning back now…_

"Yes," replied Mysterion after a clear of his throat. He soon tucked it away in a safety pouch that he had installed in his belt, beside the miniature first-aid. "She is. However, she's much too shy to reveal herself. So I'll deliver this for you. Really, it's no trouble."

"Oh, thank you!" exclaimed Karen happily. She engulfed her magnificent angel into a hug, burying her face in the warmth of his waist, humming as she did so. "She shouldn't be so shy… it was really nice of her to give me these." She blushed, looking down at her new PJs. "I hope she likes my picture. Could you tell her that I'm sorry that I drew her as the real Santa, though? I don't want her to be angry with me."

"Angry? With you?"

The cloaked boy knelt down, his kind facial expression returning once more.

"That's nonsense," he whispered. "Emily's going to be thrilled."

Karen turned her full attention to him and cocked her head to the side, as if she took it in consideration. "Her name's Emily?"

_Shitshitshit._

"Uh… I—better deliver this drawing of yours," he said rather hurriedly, dashing out of the room. "Sleep well, Karen!"

The little girl finally caught up with him once he reached the front door of their little house and announced loudly as he disappeared into the snowy night,

"I love you, Angel! Be careful on your way there, okay?"

She snuggled her dolly closely underneath her chin, smiling as bright as the sun as those final words sliced through the frozen air.

"I love you, too!"


End file.
